


Stubborn Love

by tiddlypom



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 12:12:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/761182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiddlypom/pseuds/tiddlypom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel watches the bees. The bees buzz. The buzzing resonates inside Castiel's head.</p><p>Dean watches Castiel. Castiel smiles. The smile is lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stubborn Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nerdyostrich](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nerdyostrich/gifts).



Castiel watches the bees. The bees buzz. The buzzing resonates inside Castiel's head.

He leans his head in his hands, his elbows in the grass, his thoughts in the sunflowers. They smell of light, like gold, and the glissandos of a harp.

As his eyes follow the bees, as the tides follow the moon, he sees. He sees the patterns of the bees, the circles and loops and swirls and dances. He knows them. Their twisted paths make sense, are beautiful, designed. They have a purpose, a beginning, a middle, an end. A sweet end. He understands.

Dean watches Castiel. Castiel smiles. The smile is lost.

Dean crosses his legs, fingers knotted in the grass, thoughts in the past. It feels like melancholy, the colour of driftwood, and the gasping of the wind.

He doesn't understand. He sees no sense, no pattern here. He sees no end, only everything he's lost, and what he has left to lose. There should be beauty here, there should be joy. Perhaps, it's just he just can't see it, perhaps, he shouldn't trust his eyes. Perhaps.

"Cas?"

The bees buzz.

"Cas, if you're in there, I'm not giving up on you, okay? Not on your life. Everyone, even Sam, they say you're gone, that you can't be saved. But I won't be told, Cas, I can't be. I'm gonna do everything I can to get you back, do you hear? I'm gonna stay right here, Cas. And I'm beggin' you, please, stay with me too?"

The buzzing resonates.

Dean sighs. He's used to this by now. The feeling of talking to a brick wall; a brick wall he can't live without. His divine brick wall.

He thinks, maybe it's better this way. It's better to feel the pain. Better than indifference. At least the hole in his chest still feels like something. Maybe it is better to have loved and lost.

But no, he hasn't lost Cas. He's not going to lose him, whatever happens. He doesn't blame Cas for ending up like this, for doing this to himself. For losing himself. Hell, Dean would have done the same if their positions were reversed. He would run too. And although this is a mess, and he hates it, he can't stop clinging onto whatever this opposite-of-indifference is.

"Do you see the bees, Dean?"

Always with the bees. He looks over to the flowers.

"Yeah Cas, I see 'em," he says, softly.

"But do you _see_ them?"

Dean tries, he really does. He tries because he can't bear to lose anything else. He has to keep this. He looks at the bees, and he looks, but he doesn't understand.

"What do you see, Cas?"

Cas looks him in the eye, and like it's the most profound thing in the world, says, "bees, Dean."

When no understanding is shown on Dean's face, Cas looks down, sadly. Why will Dean not see? The bees are important. He can't say why, he just knows.

"Hey man," Dean places a finger beneath Cas' lowered chin and lifts it, "head up. I'm trying here, you just gotta show me. Show me the bees."

As he says this, something changes in Cas' eyes, some force there shifts, and Dean knows he'll never give up. He'll understand the bees or die trying. He guesses he's just that stubborn.


End file.
